Becoming Heart Sisters, Week 1, Why Do We Need Girlfriends?

What an amazing first week of study we have had! We have learned so much from the daily lessons, and our small groups have been so uplifting! What fun to meet so many new heart sisters as well as to draw closer to our veteran heart sisters!

We are better and stronger together!

This week, we began by exploring the way God designed us. When God created man, it was not good for him to be alone. God brought him every animal to name and to care for, but not one was a suitable companion. Well, the dogs may have been a close second ?, but man needed a woman to complete him.

Each are created in God’s image and are equal in value but very different in make-up and purpose.

God used the Hebrew word Ezer Kenegdo to describe the role of a woman, which is translated “help meet.” This is the same word God uses for Himself to describe His relationship with people. He is our helper. This is not a weak, subservient role, but it denotes strength and support. Some translations say, “to rescue, to save, to be strong.”

“Therefore, could we conclude that Genesis 2:18 be translated as ‘I will make a power [or strength] corresponding to man.’ Freedman even suggests on the basis of later Hebrew that the second word in the Hebrew expression found in this verse should be rendered equal to him. If so, then God makes for the man a woman fully his equal and fully his match. In this way, the man’s loneliness will be assuaged.” http://www.godswordtowomen.org/ezerkenegdo.htm

This illustrates that men and women both have need for relationship, but God gave man the primary purpose to work the land and be a provider for his family. His brain is wired to function in this capacity at its peak. A woman, however, is relational by nature. God gave this to her as her soul purpose; thus, solidifying our understanding of why we need heart sisters in our lives. We sure had a blast discussing the differences in men and women in our groups this past week!

I personally enjoyed reading the example of Elizabeth and Mary this week. Have you ever had a relationship with someone who was a true encouragement to you during a significant season in your life? We all experience a variety of seasons, and we can be a valuable source of support to each other as heart sisters during these times. We have the privilege and the responsibility to be there for each other, but what a joy when our heart sisters are also there for us in return!

“Heart sisters go to each other when they’re feeling down and need a little pep talk. Possessing a mutual trust, they confide in each other, lift each other up by speaking truth and help each other with the logistics of life.”

“To be loved and encouraged by our friends is a great blessing, however, to find a friend who not only loves and encourages us but also helps us to walk closer with God is a rare jewel indeed.” ~Natalie Chambers Snapp

Ultimately, God created us to glorify Him. We give Him glory when we love Him with all our hearts, mind, and soul, and love each other unconditionally. In doing so, this gives us the opportunity to truly be salt and light in this world, as Christ instructed. His love shines through us, and others will see the character of Christ through our example of loving each other.

One powerful concept that struck me this week is that if we allow this world to dim our light so that we can fit in, our flame will ultimately be extinguished. Some excellent practical examples are on p. 20.

We must be vigilant in our relationships so that the light of Christ will shine brightly for this world to clearly see!

I have found the best place to go for the perfect example of friendships is Jesus Himself. From the examples on Day 3, we learn that we can’t be best friends with everyone. We have layers in our hearts, and our friends are found within the various depths. Only a very few are found in the inner core of our hearts and see the most vulnerable parts of who we truly are, but we have plenty of room in the outer ring called our “Heart Potential.” We don’t have to allow everyone into the inner core, but we must always keep the gates to the outer ring of our hearts open for the potential of new friends God will set before us.

We concluded this week of study with “The Super Seven Sisters.” I had fun with these two days! With each sister represented, I listed women I knew who fit into each category, and I learned qualities I admired in each one. I could see strengths and weaknesses in myself, and it gave me areas to pray for and study so that the Holy Spirit can do a perfecting work in my heart. With His help, we can all learn to employ the qualities of these Biblical women that will strengthen our walk with Christ and enrich our friendships. What a blessing!

Let’s take a moment to review these Super Seven Sisters for inspiration:

  • Rahab – bold, courageous
    • A Rahab friend will lovingly speak truth if you aren’t living your life for God.
  • Deborah – strong leader, wise
    • A Deborah friend remains calm when a crisis strikes. She also offers a wise, biblical perspective when advice is needed.
  • Bathsheba – tough with just the right balance of grace and truth.
    • A Bathsheba friend has been through tough times and lived to tell about them. She’ll walk through adversity with you and reassure you that good will come out of life’s struggles.
  • Ruth – loyal and true
    • A Ruth friend is faithful and always on your side – no matter that!
  • Naomi – selfless, loving, older
    • A Naomi friend is older than you and can serve as your spiritual mentor.
  • Mary – trustworthy, prayer warrior
    • Even when you are not able to connect as often as you would like, a Mary friend is someone with whom you can always pick up right where you left off.
  • Elizabeth – encourager, bold and obedient
    • An Elizabeth friend is an earthly encourager who helps keep you going! She builds you up with pep talks and always points you back to truth.

~All quoted from pp. 36-37, Natalie Chambers Snapp

One final thought is to understand the difference between a clique and a tight knit group. We so often get these mixed up, and we can become afraid of rejection or not fitting in. If we struggle with insecurities, we can easily misinterpret the signals we get from these groups and withdraw. It is no fun to feel excluded!

In each group, you will see a closeness among the friends, but the difference is in how they welcome someone new. A clique will make another person feel left out on purpose. They may seem friendly at first, but the conversation centers around them, and they don’t show much interest in another’s opinions or make an attempt to make her feel a part of their group. A tight-knit group, on the other hand, will direct questions toward the new person to get to know her better. They work hard to include her and make her feel welcome. Both kinds of groups are often found in churches!

Keep these differences in mind when you meet new friends and don’t allow the rejection to affect you personally or cause you to cower in fear.

“As we close today, I would like to remind us why we need Heart Sisters: to love one another. One way to love our neighbors as ourselves is to be in relationship with other people – but we can’t be in relationship with other people if we isolate ourselves because of our own fear. God has made it clear that we were created to be in relationship. He has blessed us with women in our lives who possess different personalities, strengths, and weaknesses, and He has provided various avenues to connect with these women… So when we cultivate Heart Sisters in our lives, we are fulfilling God’s plan for us.” ~Natalie Chambers Snapp, p. 39

 Week 1 Discussion Questions

Here is a sneak peek at the questions we will discuss in our small groups this week:

In a loud voice she exclaimed: “Blessed are you among women, and blessed is the child you will bear!  But why am I so favored, that the mother of my Lord should come to me? Luke 1:42-43 NIV

QUESTION 1: The friendship between Mary and Elizabeth models a relationship between Heart Sisters. How do these women model love and support for each other? Have you ever had this kind of friend? (pp. 14-16)

“You are the salt of the earth. But if the salt loses its saltiness, how can it be made salty again? It is no longer good for anything, except to be thrown out and trampled underfoot. You are the light of the world. A town built on a hill cannot be hidden.” Matthew 5:13-14 NIV

QUESTION 2: We are called to be set apart, precious, valuable, useful, powerful, illuminating, fear-reducing, and truth-seeking – in all of our relationships. (Day 2) What does it mean to you to be salt and light? What are some ways our friendships give us the opportunity to be salt and light in this world?

QUESTION 3: What are some things that can cause our lights to grow dim? How can we guard against it? (p. 20)

After six days Jesus took with him Peter, James and John the brother of James, and led them up a high mountain by themselves. Matthew 17:1 NIV

QUESTION 4: On Day 3, we read about three layers of heart friends from the life of Jesus. What is something you learned this week from Jesus’ friendships?

“We reach our full ‘Heart Potential’ when we keep our hearts open to new relationships while allowing ourselves the freedom to have Outer, Middle, and Inner Heart friends.” ~Natalie Chambers Snapp, p. 25

QUESTION 5: We must accept the reality that we can’t be everything to everyone, nor can we be best friends with everyone. People pleasing is unhealthy and is based on pride. What are some ways an unhealthy dose of people pleasing can show up in our lives? How would it feel to be free from the need to please everyone?

QUESTION 6: Putting all our friendship needs on one person is too heavy of a burden for a friend. We need a diverse group of friends to speak into our lives from different points of view. Which woman from the Bible, either from the Super Seven Sisters, or any of your choosing, inspires you in your walk with Christ the most, and why?

Assignments for the Week:

  • Pray for the Holy Spirit to reveal truth and wisdom to You from God’s Word and to transform your heart.
  • Read Week 2 from the member book
  • Attend a small group.
  • Participate in daily activities in the Heart to Heart Facebook group.

How This Works

  • Register by leaving a comment below. Tell us where you are from and what you hope to glean from this study.
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  • Small Groups: There will be a schedule for small groups pinned to the top of the Facebook group, Heart to Heart Women’s Bible Study, as we get closer to the time. All you need to do is show up at the scheduled day and time, and the discussion will take place underneath the group photo.

Reading Schedule

  • May 1-7, Study Week 1: Why Do We Need Girlfriends and Where Do We find Them?
    • Small groups: Introduction. No need to ready anything ahead of time.
  • May 8-14, Study Week 2: Getting Right with God
    • Small groups: Discuss Week 1
  • May 15-21, Study Week 3: Clash of the Titans
    • Small groups: Discuss Week 2
  • May 22-28, Study Week 4: The Forgiveness Business
    • Small groups: Discuss Week 3
  • May 29-June 4, Study Week 5: Blurred Lines
    • Small groups: Discuss Week 4
  • June 5-11, Study Week 6: Heart Sisters Do’s and Don’ts
    • Small groups: Discuss Week 5
  • June 12-18
    • Small groups: Discuss Week 6

I look forward to seeing you in small groups this week!

God bless!

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